Personal Testimony

Truthfully, I cannot remember a time when God was not with me. As a small child, I was raised in a mostly Catholic environment. My dad was hard-shell Baptist! Quite a volatile combination and yes, the sparks did fly--often!

As the middle child of the three siblings living in our home, the responsibility of "mediator" often fell upon me. I tried to be the peacemaker, but the role was heavy, way too big for my small shoulders.

My family was what today's society calls "dysfunctional". That is putting it mildly! Oh, my mother and father loved one another, but, they had an "Elizabeth Taylor-Richard Burton" romance! Like, Liz and Richard, tempers and fists (or an occasional flying steel-toed shoe or iron) flew! Of course, there was alcohol--drinking was one of my family's generational sins (from which my dad was later delivered--praise God!)

Back then, there was so much coming and going of other members among my mother's and father's families. Entire families would move into our tiny home for extended periods of time and yes, that opened the door to sexual abuse.

Growing up, I was the apple of my father's eye and of course, my mother's worse foe. We never could seemed to have any real understanding of one another (I think we did before her passing, thank God). Of course, I loved her and she me. Still, she resented the closeness of my relationship with my dad (really, of any time he spent with any of their children). I was no help. If mom said the sky was blue--I would say it was pitch black. Battles ensued and rebellion was inevitable!

Now, being raised Catholic does not necessarily mean you know anything at all about God, or about His Son, Jesus Christ. To make matters worse, the service was in Latin! Still, I was able to glean bits and pieces of God and His plan for mankind. (I pray you know that it is not being a member of any "church" that saves us, it is in Jesus Christ alone!)

Funny, around age 13, I decided to read the Bible from cover to cover. I remember reaching the book of Revelation and thinking, "Wow! That could happen in my lifetime. I even figured up how old I would be if I lived to the year 2000! Oh, I kept close to my heart the things that would surely come upon those who refused to repent and turn to the Living God. But, I thought, "One day, when I've had my fun--when I'm older!" (I don't recommend this way of approaching God's offer of salvation to anyone!)

At age 18, I left home and pursued what I though would be a different life. Nope, different faces--same situations. I could never find anyone who truly loved me--never! Everyone left me!

During this rebellious time, my precious brother went off to Vietnam. I can still remember his call that day at work--he was safely home! I screamed like a little child. I loved him so! Still do! Little did I know that Nam had changed my brother. It was also during this time that a change had taken place in the heart of my dad. Of course, that change was the saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ, and I wanted no part of it!

I even went as far as to move and not let anyone in the family know my whereabouts. Unfortunately for me, they all did still know where I worked. My father, playing the master sleuth, proceeded to follow me in his "can't miss it" cadillac! Of course, I spotted him immediately! He was precious! It touched my heart so deeply that I knowingly let him follow me back to my new apartment. He keep telling me that Jesus loved me and that I needed to be "saved"! Well, I thought I was saving myself, so I turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Still, he told me he would pray and he did! It was so cute! After that time, dad would pop up at the most unusual times--I'm sure he was trying to catch me while I was up to something, but thankfully, he never did.

One day, my brother came over (Yes, dear dad filled everyone in!) and asked if I wanted to go to church with him. Well, he had asked before, so I knew my brother didn't always follow through (I love you, dear brother, please forgive), so I said yes. I was so certain he would forget and never knock on my door. He DID! I was so mad--furious! But, I loved my brother and didn't have it in me to hurt him, so I got dressed and went with him. It was comical! I was cursing, smoking--deliberately blowing the smoke right into his face. I turned up the radio so hard-rock music blasted in his (and my) ears (I never even liked that type of music!). I couldn't get a rise out of him! He was so calm! That just infuriated me more!

Finally, we arrived at the church. I didn't know what hit me! God's love just permeated the entire sanctuary! I had never experienced anything like that before and I wanted it! God allowed me to look out over the congregation and see a glimpse of how eternity will be--all one family of God! I don't even remember what the pastor preached that day! Truly, within 2-3 minutes I was raising my hands and praising the Lord! My brother just stared at me with joy and amazement. Tears streaming down his beloved face!

I have to tell you, even while I was praising God, a major struggle was going on in my head and in my heart. Among my many sins, I also had an addiction--another love, one that was not honorable in any way! I hesitated because I knew following Christ would cost me dearly--He would cost me my obsession! I remember telling God I didn't think I could turn away from my love--I didn't have it in me. A war for my soul was taking place right there in the middle of that church and not a person knew--only me and God!

Then, God gently whispered in my ear, "My Spirit will not always strive with man." (Genesis 6:3) I guess reading through the Bible (once) had sunk it, because that came out of nowhere--thank you, Holy Spirit! The enormous implications of His statement horrified me! I knew I would not be given another opportunity! I must choose TODAY! Thankfully, I chose Christ! Beloved, I can tell you, I have not regretted that decision one day--one mili-second of my life. In fact, I can't imagine life without Christ, without His love, blessing and favor upon my life.

A few years ago, God revealed to me that I would indeed have perished in my sins had I not chosen Him that day! The when and how "that" might have happened, I don't know, but I do know I would not be writing this today. I would not have my wonderful husband, two sons, and now, a precious grandson! I would have died and been counted among the lost!

Dear one(s), don't let that terrible fate happen to you! We're talking eternity here! God's word says, "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him." (Genesis 6:3 KJV)

God has graciously shown us the way to eternal life--Jesus Christ! He alone is the Way, the Truth and the Life! Oh, beloved, choose Life and live it abundantly! I'm so glad I "chose wisely"!